An Indian Teacher Among Indians (II)

An Indian Teacher Among Indians (II)
by Zitkala-Sa [aka Gertrude Simmons Bonnin] (1876-1938)


II.

A TRIP WESTWARD.

One sultry month I sat at a desk heaped up with work. Now, as I recall it, I wonder how I could have dared to disregard nature's warning with such recklessness. Fortunately, my inheritance of a marvelous endurance enabled me to bend without breaking.

* sultry: 무더운, 폭염의
* recklessness: 부주의함. 무모함
* bend without breaking: 부러지지 않고 굽다(최앋은 면했다)

Though I had gone to and fro, from my room to the office, in an unhappy silence, I was watched by those around me.

편치 않은 과묵한 표정으로 사무실과 숙소를 왔다갔다 하며 보내는 것처럼 주변사람들에게는 그렇게 보였다(be watched~).

On an early morning I was summoned to the superintendent's office. For a half-hour I listened to his words, and when I returned to my room I remembered one sentence above the rest.

* summon: 소환하다
* superintendent: 감독관

It was this: "I am going to turn you loose to pasture!" He was sending me West to gather Indian pupils for the school, and this was his way of expressing it.

"초원으로 풀어주겠소" 그는 나를 서부로 인디언 학생을 모집하러 보내려고 한다는 말을 이런식으로 표현했다.

(인디언이니까 자연에 놔주겠다. 즉, 야생의 인디언을 문명의 우리에 가둬 뒀었다는 느낌을 준다. 인디언을 보는 백인들의 시각을 보여준다.)

I needed nourishment, but the mid-summer's travel across the continent to search the hot prairies for overconfident parents who would intrust their children to strangers was a lean pasturage.

나는 영양(nourishment, '휴식'의 의미)이 필요했다. 하지만 한여름 대륙을 가로지르는 여행, 뜨거운 초원을 뒤져 그들의 자녀를 이방인에게 맞길 만큼 과한 부모(제정신이 아닌 뜻으로 overconfident)들을 찾는(search ~ for ~ ) 여행은 '황폐한(lean) 목초지' 였다(영양가 없다).

* nourishment <> lean pasturage

However, I dwelt on the hope of seeing my mother. I tried to reason that a change was a rest. Within a couple of days I started toward my mother's home.

* dwell on ~:

---

The intense heat and the sticky car smoke that followed my homeward trail did not noticeably restore my vitality. Hour after hour I gazed upon the country which was receding rapidly from me. I noticed the gradual expansion of the horizon as we emerged out of the forests into the plains.

The great high buildings, whose towers overlooked the dense woodlands, and whose gigantic clusters formed large cities, diminished, together with the groves, until only little log cabins lay snugly in the bosom of the vast prairie. The cloud shadows which drifted about on the waving yellow of long-dried grasses thrilled me like the meeting of old friends.

* grove: 작은 숲
* in the bosom of the vast prairie: 거대한 초원의 품안에

At a small station, consisting of a single frame house with a rickety board walk around it, I alighted from the iron horse, just thirty miles from my mother and my brother Dawée.

* rickety 흔들거리는
* alight: (탈것에서) 내리다

A strong hot wind seemed determined to blow my hat off, and return me to olden days when I roamed bareheaded over the hills.

강한 뜨거운 바람이 내 모자를 벗겨 내어 언덕넘어 민둥산을 거닐던 옛시절로 되돌리려고 작정한 듯 했다.

* A strong hot wind seemed determined to blow ~(도시의 때) and (to) return ~ (옛 시절)

After the puffing engine of my train was gone, I stood on the platform in deep solitude. In the distance I saw the gently rolling land leap up into bare hills. At their bases a broad gray road was winding itself round about them until it came by the station.

Among these hills I rode in a light conveyance, with a trusty driver, whose unkempt flaxen hair hung shaggy about his ears and his leather neck of reddish tan. From accident or decay he had lost one of his long front teeth.

* light conveyance: 가벼운 운송수단(시골 마차)
* unkempt: 흐트러진
* leather neck of reddish tan: 붉게탄 가죽(같은) 목덜미
* From accident or decay: 사고로 그랬는지 노화로 그랬는지

Though I call him a paleface, his cheeks were of a brick red. His moist blue eyes, blurred and bloodshot, twitched involuntarily. For a long time he had driven through grass and snow from this solitary station to the Indian village.

* paleface: 창백한 안면(백인)

His weather-stained clothes fitted badly his warped shoulders. He was stooped, and his protruding chin, with its tuft of dry flax, nodded as monotonously as did the head of his faithful beast.

* stoop: 구부정하다
* protruding: 돌출된
* tuft of dry flax: 마른 아마포같은 염소수염(tuft)
* nodded as monotonously as did the head of his faithful beast.
그의 충직한 야수(말)의 머리가 그렇듯이 단조롭게 끄덕거리다(nod)

All the morning I looked about me, recognizing old familiar sky lines of rugged bluffs and round-topped hills. By the roadside I caught glimpses of various plants whose sweet roots were delicacies among my people. When I saw the first cone-shaped wigwam, I could not help uttering an exclamation which caused my driver a sudden jump out of his drowsy nodding.

* rugged: 1.강인한. 단단한 2.돌투성이
* bluff: 1.허세 2.벼랑
* cone-shaped wigwam: 인디언 천막, tee-pee

At noon, as we drove through the eastern edge of the reservation, I grew very impatient and restless. Constantly I wondered what my mother would say upon seeing her little daughter grown tall. I had not written her the day of my arrival, thinking I would surprise her.

Crossing a ravine thicketed with low shrubs and plum bushes, we approached a large yellow acre of wild sunflowers. Just beyond this nature's garden we drew near to my mother's cottage. Close by the log cabin stood a little canvas-covered wigwam. The driver stopped in front of the open door, and in a long moment my mother appeared at the threshold.

* ravine: 협곡
* thicket: 덤불
* large yellow acre: 넓은 노란 땅(황야)

I had expected her to run out to greet me, but she stood still, all the while staring at the weather-beaten man at my side. At length, when her loftiness became unbearable, I called to her, "Mother, why do you stop?"

* loftiness: 거만함. 무뚝뚝함.

This seemed to break the evil moment, and she hastened out to hold my head against her cheek.

* hasten: 서두르다

"My daughter, what madness possessed you to bring home such a fellow?" she asked, pointing at the driver, who was fumbling in his pockets for change while he held the bill I gave him between his jagged teeth.

* "어떤 광증이 저런놈을 집으로 데려오게 너를 사로잡았나?" (정신적 질병을 의인화 함. 인디언 식 표현?) 주머니를 뒤적거리는(fumbling), 잔돈을 주려고, 내가준 지폐를 그의 들쭉날쭉한(jagged) 이 사이에 물고있는 마부(driver)를 보고 엄마가 물었다.

* 엄마가 그렇게 생각할 수 있던 것도 일종의 적대감에서 나온 반응일 듯. 비 상식적인 백인들은 날강도.

"Bring him! Why, no, mother, he has brought me! He is a driver!" I exclaimed.

"그를 데려오다니요! 그가 나를 여기까지 데려다 줬죠!. 그는 마부예요!"

Upon this revelation, my mother threw her arms about me and apologized for her mistaken inference. We laughed away the momentary hurt.

Then she built a brisk fire on the ground in the tepee, and hung a blackened coffeepot on one of the prongs of a forked pole which leaned over the flames. Placing a pan on a heap of red embers, she baked some unleavened bread. This light luncheon she brought into the cabin, and arranged on a table covered with a checkered oilcloth.

* prong: 뾰족한 기구
* ember: 타고남은 불씨(잿불)
* unleavened: 발효시키지않은
* oilcloth: 유포. 기름먹인 천

My mother had never gone to school, and though she meant always to give up her own customs for such of the white man's ways as pleased her, she made only compromises.

내 어머니는 학교에 다닌적이 없었다. 그녀가 편하다면 백인의 방식에 맞춰 그녀의 습관(전통)을 포기해야 했지만, 타협을 했을 뿐이다.

(인디언의 전통을 버리고 백인의 제도를 따르긴 하는데 그녀 맘에 들때만 그렇게 타협 했다.)

Her two windows, directly opposite each other, she curtained with a pink-flowered print. The naked logs were unstained, and rudely carved with the axe so as to fit into one another.

The sod roof was trying to boast of tiny sunflowers, the seeds of which had probably been planted by the constant wind.

As I leaned my head against the logs, I discovered the peculiar odor that I could not forget. The rains had soaked the earth and roof so that the smell of damp clay was but the natural breath of such a dwelling.

"Mother, why is not your house cemented? Do you have no interest in a more comfortable shelter?" I asked, when the apparent inconveniences of her home seemed to suggest indifference on her part.

* suggest indifference: 무관심을 보여주다. 관심이 없다.

"엄마, 집에 시멘트를 바르지 그러세요? 편한 집(shelter: 대피처)을 갖고 싶지 않으세요?" 겉보기에 불편한 엄마집이 그녀에게 무관심을 보여주는 것 같아서(엄마는 집이 불편한 것에 대해 별로 관심이 없어하는 것 같아서) 물어보았다.

* 도시물을 먹은 딸이 물색없이 말함.

"You forget, my child, that I am now old, and I do not work with beads any more. Your brother Dawée, too, has lost his position, and we are left without means to buy even a morsel of food," she replied.

"얘야, 잊은게로구나. 나는 늙은이란다. 더이상 구슬을 만들지도 않아(인디언 보호구역에서 구슬 장신구라도 만들어 파는 일; work with beads). 네 오빠 다위도 마찬가지야. 네 오빠는 일자리도 잃었지. 우리한테는 빵 한조각(a morsel of food) 초차 살 방도(means)가 없구나,

* 인디언들은 초원에서 먹을 것을 구하며 살았지만 그 초원을 잃고 사먹어야 하는 처지가 되었다. 그러려면 일자리가 있어야 할텐데 이제 그 마져도 백인에게 빼았겼다.

---

Dawée was a government clerk in our reservation when I last heard from him. I was surprised upon hearing what my mother said concerning his lack of employment.

* lack of employment: 실직

지난번에 듣기로 다위는 보호구역에서 정부에 고용되었다(일자리를 얻었다)고 했다. 나는 실직하게된 연유를 듣고 놀랐다.

Seeing the puzzled expression on my face, she continued: "Dawée! Oh, has he not told you that the Great Father at Washington sent a white son to take your brother's pen from him? Since then Dawée has not been able to make use of the education the Eastern school has given him."

* the Great Father:
* The Founding Father: 미국 건국의 아버지들

내 놀란 얼굴을 보고 엄마는 말했다. "아, 다위가 말을 안했던 모양이구나. 워싱턴의 관료들(the Great Father)이 백인 조무래기를 보내서 네 오빠의 펜을 뺐었지 뭐냐."

* your brother's pen: (백인 덕에 공부하고 돌아와 사무직 일을 함)
* 관료들(the Great Father, 인디언 생사 여탈권을 쥐고 있으니 위대할 밖에)은 미국 건국의 아버지들(The Founding Father)을 빗대고 있는데 미신을 믿는 시골 인디언 할머니가 이런 대사를 할 수 있을까? 다분히 주인공(또는 작가)의 시각이 반영되어 있다.

I found no words with which to answer satisfactorily. I found no reason with which to cool my inflamed feelings.

적당히 대답할 말을 찾지 못했다. 나의 끓어오르는(inflamed) 기운을 식힐 방법이 없었다. (치미는 감정을 억누를 방도가 없다.)

* 이 소설의 결정적 순간! 백인들의 처사에 분노가 치밀어 오르다.

---
Dawée was a whole day's journey off on the prairie, and my mother did not expect him until the next day. We were silent.

다위는 종일 초원을 쏘다녔다. 어머니는 그가 다음날에나 돌아올 거라고 했다. 우리는 아무말이 없었다.

* 주인공 오빠, 다위는 백인에게 교육을 받고 인디언 보호구역에서 일자리를 얻었으나 그마저 백인 관리들에게 빼앗겼다.
---
When, at length, I raised my head to hear more clearly the moaning of the wind in the corner logs, I noticed the daylight streaming into the dingy room through several places where the logs fitted unevenly.

* dingy: 음산한, 어둠침침한

Turning to my mother, I urged her to tell me more about Dawée's trouble, but she only said: "Well, my daughter, this village has been these many winters a refuge for white robbers. The Indian cannot complain to the Great Father in Washington without suffering outrage for it here. Dawée tried to secure justice for our tribe in a small matter, and today you see the folly of it."

* cannot complain ~ without suffering outrage for it: 그 부당함에 대항한 항거(outrage)에 고통을 받지 않고 불평할 수 없었다. (이중 부정문: 부당함에 항거했지만 고통(탄압의)뿐이었다)

Again, though she stopped to hear what I might say, I was silent.

(도시물먹은, 백인에게서 혜택받은) 내가 무슨 말을 할지 들어보려고 침묵 했지만 나는 아무 말도 할 수 없었다.

"My child, there is only one source of justice, and I have been praying steadfastly to the Great Spirit to avenge our wrongs," she said, seeing I did not move my lips.

"얘야. 정의의 원천(정의를 구할 곳)은 한가지 뿐이다. 나는 위대한 정령(Great Spirit: 인디언의 수호신)에게 우리의 부당함(our wrong)을 복수해달라고 항상 기도해 왔단다"

* Great Spirit <> Great Father

My shattered energy was unable to hold longer any faith, and I cried out desperately: "Mother, don't pray again! The Great Spirit does not care if we live or die! Let us not look for good or justice: then we shall not be disappointed!"

"엄마, 다시는 기도하지 말아요. 위대한 정령은 우리가 죽든 살든 우리를 보호해 주지 않아요. 우리가 선과 정의를 찾도록 두지 않아요, 그럴 수록 우리는 실망할 뿐이예요"

"Sh! my child, do not talk so madly. There is Taku Iyotan Wasaka, to which I pray," she answered, as she stroked my head again as she used to do when I was a smaller child.

"아서라 얘야. 그렇게 미친듯이 말하면 않된다. 타쿠 이요탄 와사카께서 나의 기도를 보고 계신단다." 그녀는 내가 어렸을때 그래 주셨듯이 나의 머리를 다독이셨다.

* Taku Iyotan Wasaka: A absolute power

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